circularity

I am most assuredly on the wheel of Samsara, except that the changes are all happening within one lifetime, rather than in subsequent ones. The cycle of life has spun around yet again. I have a full time job, to start any day now, I am in the process of withdrawing from the PhD program, for both logistical and statistical purposes. Because I am have not done three consecutive semesters, I am unable to drop back to part-time status so my options are to either request a leave of absence, or to withdraw from the program. I will only be able to continue with the program if I can attend full-time for one more semester, and I will not acrue enough time in lieu etc - in order to take three months off within the period of time that a leave of absence would be viable, so the only option is to withdraw from the program, and hope to return to it at some point in the distant future.

I am of two minds with regards to this, though I have made my mind up and started the process. Part of me would like to stick with the program, though I have no want to be a prof. Mostly because I do not like to leave things undone. And I am a little sorry that I will not be using my brain in this capacity in the foreseeable future. I am also sorry that I will have to leave some of my new found friends. However, the prospect of having to finish just the one more paper and then not to have to think in those terms again for a very long time is very very attractive. I have to finish one more paper, or take an incomplete or a fail on the course, which would screw my transcipt for the possiblity of return. So I will write this paper over the next little while, and submit it and then be withdrawn from the program.

The new job carries with it the working hours of 7am to 3pm. Not my ideal shift. The site is far from my home (current home - there is a new one, one whichwe own, coming very soon - but that is even further from the new work location). It means that I will probably have to get a car, transit does run but the getting there in the middle of winter in the cold and dark will be an unhappy experience on the bus. If I can find the right used car I will jump at it - but we will ride out the fall without one to see how it goes.

So yes, a home - we bought a house, we take possession in late October. It is truly beautiful and I am very excited about living there. We had planned on buying somehting to flip in five or ten years, but this house is exactly the type of house we would have wanted as our second home - I figure this is 'the' home where we will be happy for 20 years.

The job I am moving into is the job I wanted to get 7 years ago. I tried to get in to the feds back then, when I finished my IT diplomas, but there was no luck - and I went back to school to find a way to survive. In so doing, I discovered I was pretty good at it. In fact, really good at it - up to a point. I do not have the same sort of drive that I see professional academics as carrying, I do not have the want to read academic works, often I find myself screaming at them - wondering what difference it really makes in the world. But on another level, I appreciate the arguements and the philosophy - yet I find it lacking in practical application - that is whyt he IT stuff feels so good to me after 6 years of theory - it is concrete - hands on - even though computer problems can be equally ethereal as any ivory tower gender theory - there is a practical component - and I can always flatten the dirve if it is necessary.

Ultimately I am really looking forward to a job that ends when the shift is over. Being able to come home and not have to spend hours reading or studying, and able to just hang out, play gmaes or just watch TV seems like a brilliant concept. Also, did I mention the thought of a regular, budgetable paycheck? A regular normal life - not too much to wish for, and now it is in my grasp...